Online: the basics
- Keep personal details off your profile. Your full name, employer, kids' school, gym, the road you live on, none of that needs to be visible to strangers. Save it for when you trust someone.
- Use NaaiBuddies's messaging until you're comfortable. Don't move to WhatsApp on day one. Our messages are encrypted and you can block and report in one tap.
- Watch for the classic red flags. Sob stories about money, sudden requests for "emergency" help, profiles that won't video call, pressure to share intimate photos before you've even met. If it feels off, it is off.
- Reverse image search if you're not sure. Take a photo from their profile, drop it into Google Images. If it shows up on twelve other profiles or a stock photo site, you've got your answer.
Before the first meet-up
- Video call first. Five minutes on a video call tells you more than three weeks of texting. Anyone who refuses, repeatedly, is hiding something.
- Tell a friend. Share the time, place, and who you're meeting with someone you trust. A quick "I'm with someone called Pieter, here's his profile screenshot" can be a lifesaver.
- Meet somewhere public. A coffee shop in Sandton, a beachfront restaurant in Camps Bay, a pub in Pretoria East, somewhere with people around and easy exits. Never a private home or quiet parking lot on a first meet.
- Drive yourself. Don't get picked up or dropped off. Keep control of how and when you leave.
On the date
- Watch your drink. Order it yourself, watch it being made, and don't leave it unattended. This applies anywhere, with anyone, not just first dates.
- Pace yourself. One or two drinks. Stay sharp enough to make good decisions.
- Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, leave. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A real one will understand.
- Have an exit plan. A friend's call at 9pm, a "babysitter emergency" text, an Uber on standby. No-stress ways to bail.